Pune BlogCamp -2

8.30 am - Kick in

Bloggers, both professional and waiting in the wings have started gathering at the registration counter. There is excitement in the air. No one knows what lies ahead. Volunteers pitch in for work that requires immediate attention. Registrations are done, T-shirts distributed and someone is around to take a snap of each participant not before they have worn it and displayed their name card in mug shot style.

10.00 am

Tarun sets the ball rolling. The hall is kind of full. Around 150 participants are there now. Lot of student community can also be seen. A general round of intros are made. Some keep it short & simple, others put in their marketing speel, which gets booed. There are some interesting characters around. For instance a person who introduces himself and tells the audience he does photo blogging and after a small pause informs he mostly shoots photos of his neighbours and posts it on his blog!!! Everyone breaks into a laugh and tease him about the place where he lives and give ideas on how he can increase traffic to his blog by doing live streaming/video casting of his neighbors ;-) The person sitting next to him gets up and introduces himself as his neighbor - again the audience breaks into laughter!!! There are some 'celebrity' bloggers also in the crowd. Prem Paniker of rediff.com (liked his Lord of the Strings tee) and Sakshi Juneja who in some way is unofficial PR agent of rakhi sawant make their presence felt. So popular is she on the blog space that she even had a stalker follow & harass her, which she shares in a discussion later in the day. Interesting to see that there are a few guys who have made blogging as their full time career and earn their bread & butter out of it! One of them even shares some of his trade secrets on how to popularize your blog in a session later. Then there is a guy who plans to start a blog for men without gfs!!! ;-) Over all, pretty interesting bunch of people and you know it would be one hell of a knowledge sharing & learning session.

10.30 am -5.00 pm

Lot of presentations are on the whiteboard. 2 Different threads are started. Some of the interesting thread that I attend include a presentation made by Purple Nova guy who has a product in market that turns your home PC into a hosting platform & there is no need to have a Ip address to host your stuff which means, no need to depend on a hosting provider for Ip address, space, other hosting needs etc. Blogging through SMS? Sounds mind boggling isn't it but if you believe the guys from SMS Gupshup, it's the next big thing and already it has picked up a lot. Btw, even i tried my hands on it and created my 1st virtual SMS blog, sitting there. Abhishek Thakkar's gigantic personality & his witty style of presenting the SMD Gupshup funda was hard to miss. More details about it can be found on their site. Oh btw, did I mention that the entire campus was wifi enabled. Many bloggers did live blogging from the campus. The signals were weak at times so many of us, including myself had a hard times logging in. Melody made an interesting presentation on flaming & how to tackle with it. There was another interesting discussion on podcasting and another one made by Niresh Kothari on how to popularize your blog. He is the same guy who runs around 15 blogs & website and has made blogging as his full time career. The guys from Fropper shared the concept of ezeblogging through their template driven blogging approach. Those who are new to blogging would find it very easy & useful. The Sulekha presentation didn't really go well with the audience, probably more to the fact that they were trying to 'hardsell' Sulekha as the best thing that happened around, which bloggers were not so ready to accept. Also the the fact that Sulekha branded themselves as web2.0 platform based site but couldn't respond back convincingly to the web 2.0 related queries that people had.

5.30pm - Kick out

experience sharing, feedback session and next steps were discussed. The knowledge sharing session was worth the day spent. Not to mention meeting so many people with diverse background and getting to know them. Looking fwd to the next Bar Camp now.

Uncorking@BlogCamp Pune

Some blogs are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and tasted.


The tone was all set for Blog Camp, Pune – the 1st of a kind initiative on the lines of Bar camp being held in Pune. What is it that brings so many people together on a single platform to collaborate through different channels to start up an ‘unconference’? What is it that drives people to use blogging as more than a collaborative tool, what it that makes people from as far as Bangalore to show up on a lazy Saturday afternoon to attend the sessions. Seeking answers to questions like these I landed up at Blog camp Pune which was held in SCIT (Symbosis College of IT), Hinjewadi, Pune. On the way, picked up a guy who was also planning to come for the event.

For the uninitiated, Blog Camp pune was a free unconference focusing exclusively on blogging, organized by bloggers for bloggers. It’s an ad-hoc unconference where people come together with no fixed agenda and topics are decided then and there itself. Depending upon the topics that people would like to discuss about and present, multiple threads run throughout the day and participants attend the topics of their interest. Lot of knowledge sharing happens.

My back has gone for a toss again so finding it very difficult to sit straight and write about it. So will be writing more posts about it tomorrow.

Na teri...na meri....

Shivraj patil
nahi
Bhairo Singh Shekhawat

Patil....
Shekhawat...

Patil....
Shekhawat....

Ok. Chal na meri na teri....

Pratibha Patil Shekhawat

happy?

How googled are you?

Read somewhere recently that in US, people like to name their new born babies with names that are google friendly. In other words, the names should easily appear in google if someone searches for it. Their concern - that everyone searches for records of people on the net and that they should not be left behind (wierdos).

Btw, how google friendly are you? Does your name tops the list? Is the result specific to the context? In my case, i have hijacked top 3 and half pages of results that appear if you type my full name. And yes, all results are in my context :)

I wanna talk n talk n talk Ms. Jolie

If I bump into Angelina Jolie, what will I do? I will just talk and talk and talk. Talk endlessly for the whole night, morning, evening and endless nights. Who wants to do any other things with her when you can simply talk.

Duh! Who wants to date a cartoon?

Sample this radio spot that's hogging the airwaves in Pune these days:

Girl 1: Hurry up we are getting late
Girl 2: hang on, tell me will this eyeliner shade look better or this?
Girl 1: (excited voice) What's up darling? Who is this new boy?

Girl 2: Jigar. The Official mascot for 2008 Youth Commonwealth Games.


My 1st reaction: Huh?!

I think it's a slap on the face of all men folks in Pune that instead of dating men, gals are now going out with cartoons. Not that they don't, but this time around a real cartoon character :D

I am sure some potbellied Director of DAVP (department of Audio Visual Publicity), sitting in his AC cabin would have conceptualized this gem of a radio spot and all his jonnies would have ensured that it is executed to the hilt.

Btw, the best part of the radio spot is Jigar talking at the end. He is supposed to be a 'tiger' but croons like donald duck. :D :D

Roti..Kapda and now another Makaan

The hunt for the house ends. Yesterday booked a 2 and half BHK (1222 1132 sqft) house. Will get possession in August 07. The apartment is located in Rakshak Nagar Gold - very close to Zensar office and strategically located near the MIDC IT park. So close, that it will take me 5 mins to walk up to my office! :D Can even see office building from one of my bedroom's drawing room. Though it used to take me on an average 1.5 hrs to reach home from office, but I will truly miss my stay at Aditya Shagun & Bavdhan locality which is more like a mini hill station.

Have posted a screenshot from Google earth to show where the apartment is located. The sattellite image is not updated as I can see only few buildings, but you can get an idea how close it is to my office.





PS: Calculated today.... the distance from apartment to office is .8 kms. :D :D :D

What's not cooking at Shaukat Aziz's residence

It's official now.

Shaukaut Aziz - Pakistan's PM has given up on rice. In a public statement last week, the Foreign Affairs Ministry informed that Aziz won't be having rice in his food staple. Rice has now become a forbidden word for him and he won't like to see anything that has got to do with rice - so all Biryanis are out for him now. The ministry also informed that Aziz had not given up on rice coz of any medical problems.

The give up happened when Shaukat Aziz met Condoleezza Rice - US Secretary of State and tried to seduce her, failing miserably, and ending up messing his plate.

hehehehehe.

2 continents. 2 Different news

In today's TOI (Pune edition) found these 2 news in the Times International section.

1st News clipping read:

Sex-change couple jailed in Pakistan

Story about how a same sex couple have been jailed in Pakistan for getting married and staying together. They have now appealed to Mushy for help.

2nd news clipping, right below read:

Gay Aussie hotel wins right to ban hetrosexual

A MELBOURNE pub catering for gay men has won the right to refuse entry to heterosexuals in a landmark ruling the owner says will keep patrons safe.

The owners of Collingwood's Peel Hotel applied to ban straight men and women to try to prevent "sexually based insults and violence" towards its gay patrons.


Both these stories on the same page. Contrasting, yet interesting.

Abused 2.0

I think the most abused, hacked & cliché word these days is '2.0'. If you have run out of ideas, need some push ups, want to add the 'next level ideas' to a dull mundane presentation, just add 2.0 as a suffix and you have it. Web 2.0 has become the most fancy words these days and just like the dot com boom, people are riding on the 2.0 bandwagon and making heads turn, little realizing or leveraging on the essence of 2.0 technologies.

In a recent article, Deep Kalra of Make My Trip says "Travel 2.0 is the buzzword here. Content, both developed by users and by portals, will help customers make better travel plans.”

See? Another 2.0 added and you get byte space on the internet. Being part of the team that was involved in creating information architecture & design of the MMT site in early 2000, if I am not wrong, the site already had the 'features' which Deep refers to as 'Travel 2.0'. The site had a facility to post user content, which was nothing more than ratings & travelogues and others could rank it. If this is what '2.0' means to Deep then he should check out the tons of info related to web 2.0 on the net again.

Web 2.0 is nothing but a combination of technologies/features that can help create larger audience participation and give real control in the hands of users rather the other way around. Period.

Picture This...

I sit very close to a picture window on 4th floor from where I can see the entire Campus greenbelt and open fields, river and mountains in the distance. This part of Kharadi, I am told, turns lushgreen during rainy season. Infact the whole of Pune and nearby areas wear a different look during rains. The weather takes a dip, people flock out to picnic areas nearby and in Konkan belt. The place where I live - bavdhan, is a mini hill station in itself. Surrounded by hills, it's always breezy there and the recent showers has forced us to shut off fans in evenings and use light quilts at nights. I shifted here last year in August and i know how exciting the weather is here so really looking fwd to monsoons now.

Leaving this post with a few snaps that i took 2-3 days back from my office window of the 1st heavy showers that hit Pune.



(see that river behind our office? I am told during monsoons the river overflows!)






In the distance you can see the river shining in the darkness)

Shaving blues

Ask any man what he feels is the most tiring work everyday and perhaps the most common reply would be - shaving every morning. So when today Suvi asked me "aren't you shaving", I replied, "it's the John Ibrahim look, you won't understand - it's a guy's thing". "ya but John doesn't have a part white stubble", she replied back coolly. "Jeeez"...I snorted and ignored the comment.

(cut to office)

Get greeted by a female colleague.
"hiiii loks"

"Hiiii"

"what's up?"
.......and b4 i can reply to that one, i get her next question.

"You didn't shaveee......felt lazzzy in the morning kyaa?", almost counting my white hair in the stubble.

At that moment, all the John Ibrahim stuff just went fizzing like an inflated balloon that has been released.

Hope suvi is not reading this one. :)

what i am watching these days...

Hells Kitchen - 2 teams contest it out in Gordon Ramsy's kitchen as he grills them out. Experience new flavours of jealously in the Blue team as one gal ho doesn't have any formal cooking background keeps winning challenges one after the other while others turn sore.

A Matter of Taste - Vir sanghvi takes us into bowels of great Indian culinary journies

No reservations & A Cooks Tour - Something similar to Vir sanghvi, Anthony Bordain samples us world cusines and new flavors.

Miami Ink - Live show of these 4-5 fellas who oepn up a tattoo shop in downtown Miami.

All these shows are on Discovery Travel & Living.

Also watching Biggets Looser - some real heavyweights fighting to lose weight - a new reality show on Sahara One.

This post is for free

This post that you are reading comes free of cost.

For the past couple of days I have been facing a peculiar problem. Some Jhonnie in my vicinity has acquired a wireless router for his laptop. Now this Jhonnie, I presume uses it most of the time in evenings and at times leave it open at mornings. So what has this got to do with me or the subject of this post. Well what is happening is that whenever I switch on my wireless router, my laptop is not reading my router's network and is like a true blue delhiite, snapping on to that jhonnie's network, illegally. I have never come across this situation b4 coz the laptop should show both wireless networks in the status bar, but after some keeda that i did long time back in the laptop settings, it has stopped showing network in the box. Anyways, so I get to switch on my router only when his is closed. You might ask, so even he might be snapping on to your network. But nopes. The jhonnie is a new kid on the block. I presumed that when I saw the details of his network. He (or she?) has NOT enabled any password on his wireless router. Jeeez man...that's the 1st thing that you do when you configure your router. His network shows the router name (which is default name when no password is set).


So whenever he is online and I am in a mood to access the net, I simply switch on my browser and i am online - at his expense! :D Let's see how long this honeymoon lasts :)

Hum tum ek kamre mein band ho....

....aur door nahi khuley!!!!!

Over 17 members including me & our consulting practice head are currently holed up in our main bay and can't move out. The reason? The Access Door is NOT accepting our cards!!! :D :D..and is locked! :D :D

The worst sufferers? People who had to catch the 6.00 pm bus. :D

I wonder what would have happened if someone was working late night and faced this problem? Help desk would have said " saab aaaj raat wahi nikaal lo coz mechanic to kal subah aayega!!" Ironically, the fire exit is bang opposite the closed door.

Happy Dent ad.

really funny...how I missed this ad. Awesum.

Mudra takes Big bazaar on a ride

What comes in your mind when you say Big Bazaar?

"Isssey sasta aur tikau aur kahi nahi milega." The key word in all communication has been sasta and then tikau. Comes to think of it, it can be translated as Cheap Quality :-) though that's another topic all together. So when you talk about Big bazaar audience profile, who are they? I'll say they are:

- Primary audience(food & beverages): Food bazaar customers who are their for good bargains
- Primary audience (furniture): people who are looking out for good deals on durable and good looking furniture.
- Primary audience: (clothing): No frills, the 'original' middle & slightly upper middle class people who have no air about brands and are more interested in 'value for money' deals. They are more than happy if the apparel as compared to some 'reputed' brands lacks 'finesse' or doesn't have that 'wow' stuff as long as they are getting it for a steal as compared to brands found in other shopping malls. It's a big chunk of audience and they will always keep patronizing Big bazaar's apparel section.

So found it very surprising when Big bazaar came out with a series of outdoor ads.



The ads are tongue in cheek and take a dig at Shoppers stop, Lifestyle & Westside. The headlines read:

Change Your Lifestyle. Make a smart choice! Formal shirts Rs........
Keep West-aSide. Make a smart choice ! T shirts Rs.......
Shoppers! Stop. Make a smart choice ! Sarees Rs....

Cheeky, no doubt but do they serve their purpose? It's apparent that big bazaar is targeting the shopping chunk of patrons of these stores but I wonder if any thought went into studying the profile of the shopper segment by Mudra & Big bazaar. People who shop frequently or whenever need arises for buying any apparels from these stores are people who:

- are brand & style conscious
- firmly believe that stores like lifestyle, shoppers stop, etc offer quality & top most, latest trends stuff
- don't mind paying a little extra if it helps them stand out from the clutter
- Might not be trend setter but like to be one and associate stores like these with that
- Enjoy the ambiance, the crowd, the overall quality of display & aura that these store offers
-Would like to step down from their cars carrying bags of shoppers stop, lifestyle etc and would die if someone spots them with apparel filled bags of Big bazaar (the exception made is Food bazaar bags - that's accepted)

Yes, there are primary shoppers from these segment too who won't mind buying once in a while from Big bazaar apparel section but mostly, not so important stuff.

Mudra & Big bazaar should understand - it's aspirational & emotional stuff. A school or college kid might buy a lowest priced tshirt from shopper's stop or lifestyle (probably 200 bucks) which perhaps he could have got a bit cheap in big bazaar but he can tell his friends who ask him where he picked up the stuff from - proudly the name of the place. Some people are born with a silver spoon are all about brands will never shop at Big bazaar. The others, who have moved up the ranks and have developed a style image for themselves, have become brand conscious and more importantly have a good purchasing power won't switch over to Big bazaar just bcoz it's offering jeans/cargos/sarees or anything for a 3 digit price.

Whoa! Another portal changes design!

First rediff. Then NDTV. Then India Times. Then Times of India. And now saw Agency Faqs site in a new avtaar. Funny thing is the timing. Most of them changed their look within a snapn of month or so. Finally they are heeding to user experience.

Googly by Google :-)

Plagiarism & Google don't go together, do they? Innovative technology, innovative products, innovative online branding ads - google has always been front runner. So it came as a surprise to me when I came across these links:

Small PR headache for Google

Google Blatantly copies yahoo

Google copies IE7 promo material from yahoo

Apparently, google copied online promo ads of yahoo IE7 branded browser to the hilt - layout, text, it almost looked like a mirror page.

Obviously, yahoo discussion forums & tech newforums were flooded with articles. Google later rectified the page but the best part is the blog piece posted by Matt Cutts - a Google Engineer. In defense, he simply attacked. :-)

Conversation between a Pakistani & Indian

Paaki: आज मेरे पास घर है, गाड़ी है, बैंक बैलेंस है... तुमहारे पास क्या है?

Indian: मेरे पास....AC है, जीसके चलाने पर लाइट भी नही जाती।

Read more...

Go jump in well Paris

Paris Hilton claims that she violated the driving probation coz her Publicist told her she can drive. She has fired her publicist

Duh. I always knew she was dumb but this dumb? I mean when last time she broke the rule, she would have been present in the court when judge gave the sentence. Didn't she understand the implication of that sentence? On top of it she says

“I feel that I was treated unfairly and that the sentence is both cruel and unwarranted. I don’t deserve this.”

The best quote comes from one of Hilton's fan. On Paris Hilton's website, one fan writes -

"She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives"

Beauty & Excitement. he he he. Ya baby. I have seen your leaked out sex tapes. Indeed, you do provide excitement in the mundane lives of your fans :D

You know you are working 2 hard when...

..you pick up landline at home and press '0' to make a call or when you enter home, you try to swap card at the door to make it open. You must have heard tales like these but this dream of mine that I had ysday night tops the chart of my favorites.

The entire last week I had been working on a proposal for conducting onsite HCI activities for a UK based customer of ours. I had been meeting the ODC head of that account regularly. Day b4 ysday while I was driving in nasik, my car tyre got punctured - twice. So after the laborious work of changing the tyre and getting it fixed, i came home and hit the bed and dozed off. Got this wierd dream that find a place in my fav 'you are working 2 hard' list. Saw that the ODC head was fixing my tyres and later he sends across the car at my home and sends an email from his workshop informing me that the tyres have been fixed, a few alignment problems have been sorted out and hold on, in same breath he informs that in the HCI proposal, make a few amendments on point no x, y & z.

What say you? should it get a place in the 'you are working 2 hard when..' list? :)

confessions of a reluctant dieter (part 2)

Monday

“Loks, how can we survive the day only on fruits?” I looked at my watch. 9.30am. Groan. The day had just begun. We still had 6 more days to go.

A diet war veteran, I know how to survive the treacherous pangs of hunger snipers that are always on lookout for our willpower to popup so that they can shoot it down. Throughout the day I kept parroting one word to Suvi – ‘Will Power’. Somehow survived through day 1.

Tuesday

“wow”. 1 kg lost already. But another whole day to pass off and worse, it’s may day so that means – be grounded at home. Ideally you always look fwd to a break but in this case, staying at home makes you feel hungrier! Suvi spiced up the all vegetable day by ‘pav bhaji’ kind of recipe minus the pavs, butter or any oil. So boiled veggies dashed up in little bit of masala along with some soup and salads. The day passed off peacefully.

Wednesday

This time around, I am also finding it a bit difficult to keep up with the GM diet. The reason being, when you are alone, you can somehow still follow it, but with Suvi around, she transforms herself into a modern day ‘Meneka’, trying to break my tapasya as I stand firm like the rock of Gibraltar to complete the diet successfully. “loks, can we have a biscuit with the tea. Loks just a single bread slice…Loks…just a little bit of aachaar…..plsssssssss…”

2 kgs lost. 3 days gone. 4 more to go.

Thursday

You don’t need a Times Restaurant Guide to tell how many eating joints are there in JM Road and from Karve Road to Paud Road. You can ask me about it. For the past 3 days while driving back to home, both me and Suvi unwittingly look out at all the passing hotel & restaurant signages and keep sighing. Add to it, on my way back my car always gets stuck in a mini traffic signal jam in front of this small restaurant where a guy is always fanning out delicious looking kababs on the roadside. Inspite of the windows being shut, the aroma of the delectable kababs squeezes in through the car and adds more fire in our bellies!

Friday

I accidentally bump into a wall. But instead of stars & revolving tweeting birds on top of my head, I get to see Chicken Mcgrills & grilled sandwiches rotating neatly in the mini orbit. I quickly bite into one and the pain disappears quickly. Happily, I head to work. A good way to start the day, I think.

By Friday I have also introduced a new romantic lexicon. It’s a dieter’s delight. So no more sugar coated cuchi coos or clichés like sweetheart or I luv you types. Instead, cuddle up your partner, pull his or her cheeks and let the voice from your heart come out and you will realize that most of the time you will end up saying “my jalebiiiii”, “my leg pieceee”, “my rasgulllla”, “my balushaiii”, “my grilled feeesh”, “my chole bhatureeee” and so on. As you keep rattling your expressions of love, you will also realize that that cuddling or pulling cheek have slowly turned into a full tight squeeze or rather a vibrant shake – as you go into an orgasmic frenzy and keep dishing out one expression after another.

Saturday & Sunday

I have never seen Suvi so happy in this diet week. After all, as per diet schedule, these 2 days are feast day. Which means you can have a cup of rice on both days. After surviving on fruits & veggies thru out the week, having rice was like finding an oasis in a desert. Like a kid she clapped and danced all around with the mere thought of having some ‘real’ food after ages. :) Thanks to the ‘solid’ food, breezed thru both these days.

Finally, GM Diet over. 3.5 kgs lost in 1 week. Suvi lost some 3 kgs. But finally we have decided instead of fad diets like these, we would rather moderate our eating habits and work out. I am already back on my skipping & morning workout schedule which I had discontinued a few months back (it worked for me then). Let’s see if I am able to keep it going! :) :)

Yawned....

...my favorite past time while watching the movie TaRaRumPum. Go for the movie if you want to watch a new look Rani Mukherjee or want to remind your hubby about the consequences of high purchasing through credit cards & bad investment planning...coz that's what the movie is all about. The moral of the story, as you will realize after 3 hrs is that you need to save money for rainy day, invest wisely and plan for the future. I wonder why Yash Raj studios who had smartly roped in Chevrolet, Lays, Castrol etc for surrogate advertising in this movie didn't tie up with any of the financial institutions like ICICI or Kotak for co-sponsoring the movie. :)

Confessions of a reluctant dieter (part 1)

I had been wanting to write this post since last week but had been too preoccupied with some office work which had mentally kind of drained me out, so was finding it difficult to pen it out. Finally got some time to sketch it out. This would be a pretty long post so I would break it into couple of parts. Here is the 1st part of the installment.

Suvi had been after me for quite some time to go on a diet. It's not that I had put on or something but more coz she wanted to go on a diet and needed company. "But why me?” I protested. "loks...while getting married you had taken vows around the sacred fire that you will nibhao my saath in all ups and downs of life", she reminded me emotionally. "But that didn't include dieting!!!". But I had no choice. All my pleas were falling to deaf ears. This 'marriage vows' thing or the 'shaadi se pehley you used to be' stinger is the Bramha astra that I guess every married woman resorts to when cornered to the wall. Faced with no choice, I threw in my towel. Ok, we would diet from today.

"No, not today", said Suvi. On being asked why not, she said "look now we would be going on a diet for some time, so let' start it from monday and let's enjoy the next 2-3 days that we have. I want to eat home cooked chicken and then tomorrow we have to go for my colleague's bday party also - she has planned amazing spread for dinner". Amused, I knew where this diet was heading to. I could already sense that in next coming days, this diet plane would lose its flight plan and turn topsy turvy before someone (read Suvi) presses the emergency chute button and bails us out. So like convicts on death sentence, with last few days to go, we feasted on chicken. Butter Chicken at Suvi’s colleague’s party on Friday, Chicken Thai Green Curry cooked as surprise dinner on Saturday by me and again some chicken at home on Sunday. If Malinga’s hat trick stole the thunder at the world cup, this chicken feast hat trick simply bowled us over. With Suvi’s wish being granted, I thought we could go on diet from Monday peacefully now. Or so I thought.

We had decided that for the 1^st week we will follow the General Motor diet plan. I had previously tried this diet plan in Delhi and had seen good results. You can stand to lose anywhere from 3-6 kgs in 1 week itself. Of course, it’s a fad diet but when you are desperate, you don’t think about fad-shad. You are more interested in the end result figure and in GM Diet Plan’s case, it looked really very tempting. So when Suvi heard about the plan, she looked excited. Though she had never ever dieted before but thought of giving it a shot. The 1^st day we had to eat just fruits and nothing else. On Sunday evening I stepped in reliance fresh to buy some fruits. Lost all my appetite after checking out price of apples. 100 Rs KG!!! Inspected it closely and saw ‘Washington’ tag on it. Among the apples kept there, these ones looked the best so reluctantly picked up a kilo which turned out to be mere 4-5 apples only. So apples, water melon, musk melon and what have you, a cool bill of Rs. 160.

Drawing from my past experience, I knew this diet would turn out to be an expensive one But hey; it’s for a good cause after all. If we both lose few kgs., naturally we will go out and binge again. This will lead to an increase in the revenues of the shopkeeper who till now had been derived of our share of revenue coz we had gone in self exile. An increase in revenues for him means he can save a little more for his kids & family. Similarly, the waiter who would serve us would also be tipped extra and they can send that extra money back home. So our act would contribute in a small way to fulfill our social responsibilities. :) :)

Iranians v/s Iranians

Pune is full of Iranis. You will find them in every nook and corner, every mall, every eatery. Modern Iranis. Liberal (or liberated?) Iranis. Irani men sans the clothing that they normally wear in Iran. Irani babes in tanktops, halter necks, denims, minis & tight fittings. Irani couples publicly holding each other or a odd peck or two. A far contrast from the conservative society that they live in back home.

And then there are Iranians like these.

No wonder more and more Iranians seek to fly away from their country to liberal pastures like India.

Finally Appy Fizz Cricket Commercial link!

Ok guys...Finally I found the link to the Appy Fizz song that I was searching. Ok..err..it was not me but Shazia who fwded the link to me. Thanks Shazia!!

Enjoy!

http://www.thecricketsong.com/

Malinga Rocks!

It's not just his rock star freakish hair style but his unique sling action bowling also rocks. The 4 wickets that he took against SA in a WC league match recently were awesome and yesterday again he made the NZ opening batsmen jump all around the pitch. The best pace driven, swing bowling that I have seen lately.

Another Siddhu Bouncer!

Was catching up with Turning Point on NDTV today morning. Siddhu as usual hijacked all the air space and started bombarding on Simon Taufel's poor umpiring in the NZ - SL semi final. And then he dropped his bomb - another one of those bouncers - and here it goes:

"Simon Taufel's decision had been so poor yesterday that in the morning he would need 2 hands to hold on to his bumps"

Wow! What was that?

On being reminded by the presenter that this is a family channel so pls mind your words, he roared back "Well I am a family man"!! (?)

I always feel sorry for poor Ajay Jadeja who most of the time is reduced to a mere spectator when both of these guys come for the show.

Hey, leave the kids alone!

As if school kids of today are not burdened by over expectations of their parents, the changing syllabus, the increasing size of their school bags, peer pressure, the future of quotas; we have very conveniently set another 'expectations' from them. This time - winning the cricket world cup in next 4-8 yrs!

1st the Pepsi ad.

And now, seeing another set of ads. by Surf Exel showing 11 small kids holding to their cricket kit, in soiled clothes, posing in 'Lagaan' style. The headline, in the same 'lagaan' typo screams:

Practice Karengey
Daag lagayengey
2015 mein to world cup le hi aayengey

Pluusssee...give the kids a break man!

Am I getting old?

The players I grew up watching, admiring and adoring are all gone.
Steffi Graf
Monic Seles
Gabrelia Sabatini
Pete Sampras
Jim Courier
Michel Jordan
Carl Lewis
Steve Waugh
Andre Aggasi


and now... Brian Lara.

Sigh. I miss them.

Bingo Ads remixed :)

(Video): Show different types of primitive traps used in jungle to catch animals. In different shots show human beings catching animals using different types of traps.

(Audio): प्राचीन युग से मनुष्यों ने शिकार करना सीख लिया था. शिकार करने के लिए वोह trap का प्रयोग करते थे. वोह जंगल में trap को ऐसे जगह रकते जहाँ शिकार पानी पीने आता और उनको पकड लेते. बार बार ऐसा करने से जानवर भी सतर्क हो जाते तो फिर मनुष्यों को अपना दिमाग लगाना पड़ता जानवरो को चतुराई से पकड़ने के लिए.

पर अगर आपको बिना दिमाग लगाए, मसालेदार, तद्कीले crap का आनंद उठाना हो, तो वोह आपको trap से नही मिलेगा. वोह मिलेगा Mid Day ke web edition से.


Mid Day
No Sense, Nonsense.

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What made me write this post?

sample some of the headlines:

Aaj hamari bhi Shaadi hai: Story of a couple who is sharing the big day with Abhi & Ash

Rs. 1.29 lakh suitcase: Story about the Suitcases that Ash is getting from her cousin as wedding gift.

Tag Board on my blog

I have installed a new tag board on my blog. You will find it on the right hand side of my blog ( just below the previous post topics). The suggestion for installing the same came from a hotshot Radio Mirchi RJ (hehehehe...now even I can boast of having celebrity connections) who wanted to leave a message on my blog but there was no 'neutral' message board. Wonder why I never thought about it myself. Perhaps coz till now most of my blog readers were my close friends who used to visit my blog just for my posts.

And as requested, he also took time out from his busy schedule to 'inaugurate' the tag board by posting the 1st message on it :D Thanks Shrikant!

So any messages hat you want to post to me, besides the comments one, you can post it out here. Feedback, any topics that are in your mind, suggestions, any point of debates & opinions...

But make it under 200 characters or else break the message into multiple parts and then post.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Aaj Tak's Intellectual level...

sample the question posed by a journalist at Abhi's so called lover's press conference.

"आपका और अभिषेक का प्यार कैसा था? क्या आप दोनो बाघो में गाना गाया करते थे? या फिर डेक पे प्यार भरे गाने लगा के सुंना करते थे.... आप प्यार कैसे करते थे...प्यार का इजहार कैसे करते थे?


They actually asked a question like that.

Uaaaaaa...papaaa..she hijacked my air space!!!

Uaaaaaaaaaa........

Big B: What happend abhi beta?

Abhi: pappaaaaa...I paid crores for this wedding...got scores of media lined up for exclusive titbits...and some stupid gal called Janhvi has stolen my show...the entire media is covering her and not my wedding papaaaa...waaaaaaaaaaaaa.uaaaaaaaa...:( :(

Big B: Calm down beta..lemme find out.. Koi Hai!! Darbaaan!!!

Amar: Ji bulaya?

Big B: Just find out..what's the matter... who is this gal who made this wedding into a bollywood script.

What I expect all news channels to beam on 20th :)

What I expect to hear on Aaj Tak, Start News, Zee news and other clone channels the whole the day long on 20th april:
(excuse the mistakes made in hindi...it's not that Idon't know the grammar but figuring it out in blogger is very difficult:- )

- दर्शको को अब हम सीधा जुहू में स्तिथ अमिताभ बचन के घर के पास ले चलते है जहाँ हमारे पत्रकार मोहित सुबह से रिपोर्टिंग कर रहे है। बोलिए मोहित...क्या नज़ारा है वहां का?

-मोहित..क्या आप हमारी आवाज़ सुन सकते है? मोहित...?

- लगता है इस शोर और गुल में मोहित के साथ लिंक स्तापित नही हो पा रहा.. जैसे ही होगा हम वापिस वहा चलेंगे। और आज हमारे स्टूडियो में expert पैनल भी है जो इस सदी कि सबसे यादगार शादी पे अपने विचार देंगे..तो शुरू करते है विनोद आप से...क्या ये शादी इस सदी की सबसे बेहतरीन शादी मानी जा सकती है?

-जी हाँ इसमें कोई शक नही कि येः शादी इस सदी कि क्या पर अगले सौ साल तक ऐसी शादी नही देखने को मिलेगी। Ashwarya कि कुंडली स्वयं ब्रहमा ने ऐसे लगता है बनायीं हो..नक्षत्र और चन्द्रमा का जो योग है वोह धातु के अनुसार मूल योग के हर ताल मेल पे है। और...

-एक मिनट विनोदजी हम दर्शको को सीधा अपने सवादाता शिशिर के पास ले चलते है जो विवेक ओबरॉय के घर के नीचे खडे है...बोलिए शिशिर..क्या समाचार है वहाँ?

- जी अभिज्ञान..आज सुबह से ओबरॉय घर का एक भी दरवाज़ा नही खुला, सारे पर्दे बंध है ..वातावरण ऐसा है जैसे किसी शमशान घाट में खडे हो और अगर देखा जाये तो विवेक ओबरॉय के टूटे हएय प्यार कि आज आहुति चदने वाली है प्रतीक्षा में। जलसा वहां हो रहा है और यहाँ पुरा सन्नाटा है... कहने में ये भी आया है कि आज विवेक सलमान खान के घर पे जायेंगे रात को और दोनो दारू के जाम से अपने गम को भुलाएँगे...मेरे साथ याहा कुछ लोग है ..आयेए उन से उनकी राय पूछते है॥ कैसा लग रहा है आपको?

-जी ये जो भी हो रह है अछा नही हो रहा..विवेक के लिए बुरा लग रहा है..भगवान उनकी आत्मा को ठंडक दे...
- जी धन्यवाद...तो अभिज्ञान आप देख सकते है याहां तो ऐसे लग रहा है कि शोक सभा हो रही है...अभिज्ञान

-जी..धन्यवाद..ये थे हमारे सम्वादाता विवेक के घर के पास से..हम अब लेंगे एक छोटा से ब्रेक और ब्रेक के बाद सीधा ले चलेंगे आपको सलमान के घर के पास...

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Thank god for Discovery Travel & Living. or else, Iwould have been dead.

Welcome aboard the Kamasutra Express

Don't get shocked if next time you reach railway station to catch a train and see a reservation chart that looks like this:

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TRAIN: KAMASUTRA EXPRESS (6969 UP)

COACH: S1 POSITION FROM ENGINE: WHICHEVER YOU LIKE HONEY

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NAME I AGE I SEX I STATUS

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Lokesh I 31 I ANYTIME! I WAITING (4 MORE)

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Shocked, you board the train. More shock, all attendants are babes dressed in tight reds & black. In dinner plate, instead of sauf packet, you get a single condom sachet. As you roll up the blanket on yourself, it emits a fruity flavor fragrance which reminds you of something....

As the journey ends, the attendants give you a return gift - original Kamasutra manuscript & DVD of the same named movie.

Sounds like fantasy? Mark my words, this would happen soon.

My sadastic dream...

...to install those HUGE search light kind of boxes which you find in prisons on top of my car and switch it on in incoming traffic when confronted with stupid morons who drive in city roads with high beams on, blinding them out, if not permanently, at least for a few days.

hehehe..the very thought of executing it brings a gleam in my eyes.

मा..मैं मराठी में लिख सकता हुं माँ

कोण मनाला कि माला मराठी लिह्ता नयी येत. हे पहा। मी मराठी मधे आपला पहिला वाकया लिहला।

Kiss Kiss ka Muh band karuin!

Heard rakhi sawant on radio Mirchi today talking all crap about how Shilpa Shetty should have reacted - how she had taken up the bton on behalf of entire woman hood ( meri bhartiya behney) when Mikka had kissed her...and whole lot of other shit.

Interestingly, none of these moral cruisaders raised an eyebrow when images of Mika kissing rakhi hogged all electronic airspace. Areey bhai...woh Rakhi sawant hai.... chalta hai.

Feel like puking each time I hear all this bullshit of culture getting polluted, playing with dignity of womenhood by acts like these and all. these are the very men who throng theatres, 1st day 1st show to watch Malika Sherawat dole out 17 kisses or whistle out when celina or any other hot bodied babe let loose their steam on the screen.

Gawwad.

How bad can a day get...

I leave at 9 am. get stuck in Aundh..thanks to the diversion that Police has made for the speedy completion of Pune University flyover, take a u-turn drive down 15 kks again back and take another road to reach camp, on the way get into argument with a rickshaw driver coz I splashed water on him (to be honest...I did that intentionally coz I was honking and he didn't give me side), feel bad about what I did, bump into some call center cab jokers who whiz past me from a wrong side almost scrapping my car, angered I waltz down narrow Koregaon road and overtake them and give them a taste of their own medicine (Hritik Roshan style - the way he performs in that karizma bike ad), feel good about it and then - meet with a minor accident with a biker who comes from opp end driving straight down but looking at left and talking to someone, bumps into my right hand side mirror & back tyre fender, breaks both of them, instead of accepting his fault tries to get chauda (thanks to the public sympathy that nearby jhuggi walla gave him) and later settles for 100 bucks for marham patti. Whew...and the day has just started.

You know you are in Pune when....

You wake up early morning, find the weather really pleasant and breezy thanks to unseasonal rains & hail storm that has brought the temp down, pad up and go for a walk and bump into people with their jackets & scarfs on! :D

Rahul Gandhi: Stamp of arrogance or calculated moves?

So, Mr Prime Minister has kind of officially announced which I guess everyone knew would happen some day. Rahul Gandhi is the future (read: in some point of time in future, he would become the PM), so support him. Sigh! Politics. It can make sane men like Dr. Manmohan Singh make insane statements like these in PM's role.

Having said that, I have been tracking some of the moves made by Rahul in UP elections. I think the young man is courting controversies. Nothing wrong with that, after all to be a successful politician or even be a 'noticed' one, you need to be involved in some controversies! But it's his whole outlook that makes you wonder whether this young man reinforces the 'Gandhi Nehru Dynasty' beliefs. Notice all his statements - Had a Gandhi been in rule, Babri wouldn't have happened, India won freedom bcoz of Gandhi and the latest one - Pakistan got divided bcoz of Gandhi. Worse, the party also supports all the statements (well, they have no choice). Desperate moves by a man who really wants to prove himself and that too in a battleground like UP.

If he is so keen on giving the credits to the Gandhis, he should also remember, that it was a Gandhi who is also remembered with the darkest period in post independence - the Emergency. It was a Gandhi who held back reigns of economic reforms (thanks to which other Asian countries who were no where in picture at that time in terms of growth, are today miles ahead of us), it was a Gandhi again who was the reason of Operation Bluestar, it was a Gandhi again who could have prevented the worse riots that India had seen post independence (after Indira Gandhi's assasination) but dedided to let India burn & innocent people be killed and displaced - scars of which the present generation is still carrying.

All said and done, the powers associated with the Gandhi legacy means that someday he would surely become a PM. Hopefully a matured one.

Duh! Now what do we do with this stock of Pepsi Gold?

(Somewhere deep inside the pepsi corporate office a high level meeting is taking place)

- the Indian team is out. Now we are left with this huge inventory of stupid drink that we launched. What the f**** should we do with it?

- Wish we could stick these bottles deep inside the rear end of the team.

-That won't solve our problems, we need to show sales. Think of something else.

- Oh maaan...I had thought had the team reached last 4, I would have created temp. scarcity of our stock and then sold this Gold in Black. Blah!

- Can't even create any face saving ad. like we did last time when the team crashed out of Champions trophy.

-Which ad?

-The one where we said 'Fir Aaayega India'.

-Hey, that gives me an idea! Let's create an ad again - same wine..errr..i mean on same lines but treated differently. We can always find suckers who would still buy our stock.

-What's the idea?

-We will show 4-5 attitude driven young kids entering a tailor shop ordering indian cricket team's dress. When the tailor starts taking measurements, they ask the tailor for bigger sizes. After taking down the measurements when the tailor asks when would they like the dresses to be deliverd, they will say, after 4 years...as the next world cup, they will win it for India! Then we will show them drinking Pepsi Gold.

-So what's the BIG idea in this commercial?

-Hmmm... for the media & agency release, the big idea is to keep associaton of pepsi alive with the never say die attitude & optimism and the great spirit of keep walking and shit like that..... but between us here....Boss..the BIG idea is to DISPOSE off our existing stock...

- Yeah, this idea works.

- This way, we can still manage to dispose off the stock till the next world cup and then we will launch something new - how about pepsi titanium?

-Forget next year's branding. Concentrate on disposing this year's stock. Tell JWT we are ready with the ad - get it executed quickly. I need to sell that damn Gold stock fast!

Narayan Murthy & the love for gori chamadi

Last week when I heard about the Narayan Murthy National Anthem controversy, I thought it's again one of those media misquotes. I mean, the kind of things that were talked about the controversy, how could a guy like NM say or do things like that. Then I caught NM's quote in a press briefing on TV - that triggered the events. He indeed had said all those things.

Well for all that the man has done for the society & IT industry, I for once don't agree with his current views about the whole thing. His rationale was that there are lots of foreigners on Infy's Mysore Global Campus and playing the anthem would have embarrassed them as they couldn't participate while singing or feel being left out.

Funny isn't it? Somehow our fascination for the 'gora' chamadi still persists in today's world. Blame it on the Raj era. Over the years it has got infused into our system and even if we don't agree to it, but somewhere in the back of the mind, the thought still breeds. US ambassador to India walks past the airport security directly from the airport tarmac and is not cross checked by any security guys. Can you imagine our ambassador doing the same thing in US? Do Universities or schools in US stop singing their national anthem in public if there are any ethnic students in their fold?

NM says his firang staff would have felt embarrassed. I don’t understand what’s there to feel embarrassed about. It’s a national anthem that’s getting played and the firings know it – so what’s the big deal. It’s the excuse of NM that’s not convincing enough. Had he said, oh well we just thought let’s keep it to tunes as and never thought about singing it, chances are, no one would have said anything.

I don't know about Karnataka, but out here in Maharashtra, they start the movie by playing the national anthem - not any instrumental version but full song. As the anthem starts I have occasionally seen many firangs (pune is full of them), get up and stand attentively as it gets played. I don't think they would be understanding a word of it and I doubt if they would like to know also, but they know the importance of a national anthem.

NM as a future president – sounds good. But if this is the kind of thought process that he has, then he is not getting my thumbs up.

Shooter - same ol crap in a new bottle

We have seen it before.

A die hard patriot soldier, engaged in mission, on duty in line of fire, system drops him like hot potato to take care of himself, he retires, few yrs later system needs his help to prevent a presidential assassination, he relents, but system presses his patriotism button, he jumps into play, finds he is on receiving end by the system, goes on revenge path, blows whatever comes in his way, FBI, NSA, ABOL, all kinda acronyms get thrown in the picture and on your face, system comes under scanner but system is too powerful to be punished, in between the same ol shit of weapons of mass destruction, oil pipeline, mass graves in ethopia, fundings et al, in the end wipe system off - the sunny deol way.

The plot is very predictable. If you are a veteran action flick movie fan like me, you would sense out who is the main villan in 1st 30 mins of the movie. Watch Shooter, if you just need to shoot some time, otherwise nothing interesting.

Bheja Fry - simply 'delicious'

There are movies with a subject, the usual ones. And then there are movies that defies the subject. Bheja fry is one of them. A simple storyline (loosely based on French flick Le Diner De Cons) and yet it makes you feel how well a simple story like this can be executed into a full fledged movie. Of course, the credit for it goes to Vinay pathak & Rajata kapoor- the main leads of the movie and Vinay's brother in arms - Ranvir Shorey. A movie that boasts of Rajat kapoor, Vinay & Ranvir - it has to be of a different gerne and Bheja Fry is another feather in their caps.

In a nutshell, the story revolves around Rajat & his friends who every weekend invite some idiot character to entertain them in the pretext of branding it as a talent hunt and laufh their ass off on their expense. Bharat Bhushan (Vinay) is Rajat's finding and next thing you know is how this 'idiot' character through his unintentional behavior makes fool of Rajat.

The movie belongs to Vinay Pathak. He has that perfect timing and panache to add life into any scene & dialogues.

Do go for it. You'll really relish the offering.

Kyoki Wiki Bhi Ek Gyaan Ka Source Hai...

All that you wanted to know about Kyoki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi and didn't know whom to ask.

Try this HOT chicken recipe

The starters that I had our maid's house (more on it in a seperate post below), here's the recipe for it.

Take a tawa. Pour some cooking oil on it and let it heat. Now add some laal grounded mirchi in it. In the oil, put some pre boiled (cooker cooked or otherwise) small chicken pieces (make sure they are small pieces - kabab sized ones). Sprinkle a little salt and some good portion of Chicken masala powder on it. Saute the chicken in that oil till the pieces start turning brownish red. For having that kurkura, crispy effect, saute it for little longer. Ensure that you use a tawa and NOT a pan coz the idea is not to fry the chicken but kind of 'grill' it.

Serve it without any chatni (as that can dilute the crispy flavor) and let the masala of the chicken tingle your toungue.

Enjoy!

Appy Fizz Cricket Jingle rocks!

have you heard the latest Appy Fizz radio jingle? It simply rocks! It's a sarcastic dig on our cricket team. Each time it comes on radio, I ask Suvi to keep her trap shut and lemme listen to it.. :D

I have been trying to search net to find the lyrics or download any audio file but have still not found it.

It goes something like this....

Appy Fizz welcomes back Boys in blue...
u went to the world cup with lots hope...but came back with heads low & gloom..
...
...u got bundled out..but you never let your optimism die...
...u came back in the field with sunsceeen on ur face.....

...dont worry there is always next to next to next next year to look after to....

...appy fizz wishes its cricket boys. .. all the best for their next...errrr..commercial.

Its simply awesum. Will post the link if i find it on thet net :)

socializing of a different kind

Lata, our maid, had been insisting Suvi & me to come and visit her home sometime. Her father-in-law who happens to be the watchman of our building and who we fondly call as kaka treats Suvi more like her daughter - at times greeting us at his night shifts with some chow that he brings along with him. Lata tells us that Suvi resembles his daughter who is married and living in Mumbai - so the extra affection. But more than that, we also have socially never distinguished them as 'watchman' or 'bai' types. On Lata's son's 3rd b'day, we sent across a gift for him and she again extended the invitation to visit her home. We had always been avoiding visiting her not because of any 'class' or 'status' difference but mainly bcoz we knew if we go, she would go out of her way to extend hospitality to us - which financially or time committed wise might look trifle to us, but for her and her family it might make a difference. So this time when she again said come over and we said 'some other time', she felt bad and wondered if we were not coming over coz her house was small. So to set her thoughts to rest, we told her we would come over in evening but don't make any arrangements - we would just spend some time and come back. That made her really happy but she scrapped our point of staying for a while and didn't let us go without having dinner - which again was something I really relished.

Her house was 10 mins walking distance from our apartment in bavdhan. A 2 roomed small house (nearly half the size of my massive Delhi house drawing room ) - shared by 2 families. The inside room had a small 'mori' (open bath area), kitchen & fridge. It housed lata's bro-in-law and his family. The other room was half covered by a desktop system, TV set and 2 almirahs. Tin covered, but kept very neat & clean by Lata & her family.

For dinner we had a spread of chicken - kolapuri style, jeera rice and bhakari. And yes, a few starters also (spicy chicken chops, onion, tomato, cucumber & kaccha mango).

Had a nice time playing with lata's kid and I tried my hands at being a good tutor and teach him some basic English. His parents are stretching hard so that they can enroll him in a decent English medium school.

While walking back home I thought how often we create this web and also get entangled in it of so called 'problems & tensions' around us which takes toll on if nothing else - but mental health. 2 hrs at lata's house and I realized we are far more lucky to be where we are. Seeing her & environment that she lives in, the challenges that life throws at them daily, and yet greeting us with a smile and a scrumptious dinner, I realized our problems are nothing but figment of our imagination. I know the argument would be that every strata has different Lifestyle and its own share of problem types but I think what I learnt was of being thankful to god of where I am today. Compared to the problems & challanges faced by them, some of the 'so called' problems now don't look problem to me at all.

Sach is Life

With sachin too jumping into the cricketing akhada to have 'do-do haath' with Greg, it can't get worse than this. It's not if Greg is right & Sachin is wrong or vicea versa. When sachin speaks - everyone listens and even he knows that. But the problem with Sachin, in this context is, the demi god status that he has acquired and his own 'belief' in it make him difficult to accept the fact that his game has lost the sheen that it had once upon a time. It's like those old maharajas of India - who still believe that they are the maharajas. the world has moved on but they still live in that fancy world. I think the time has come for sachin to sit and smell coffee.

I know what's on your mind...

"Wow...check out that babe's long legs"

(tring...tring..)

Me: "Hi Honey..what's up?"

Suvi: "What were you doing?"

Me: "Nothing...just thinking about you."

Suvi: "Shut up...you liar! You were ogling at some babe's legs"

Me: (spitting the tea I was sipping) "err..no sweetheart..that's not ture. I was reallly thinkn about u..err.."

(click)

Me: "hellooo...helllooo...u there". Wow How the hell she got to know that?

That's how.

Why do processes fail?

In a recent Coke & Pizza session with our MD, I asked Ganesh - why do processes fail? The session is held once a month with randomly selected 10-15 employees where MD and other bigges spend time with employees and have team sessions. The question was triggered by the fact that the entire conversation revolved around processes and usual cliche revolving around it. I asked, we have a process for almost everything under the sun, even there is a process defined for creating a new process - and yet, processes don't get implemented, followed or are not successful. Why do processes fail?

Ganesh said that processes fail beacuse of three reasons. 1) Technology 2) People 3) Leadership

As technology keeps getting complex, processes have also started becoming complex. He gave an example of his old days at NIIT when there was no online timesheet format. There used to be a black diary on each employee's desk. the employee was supposed to fill in his daily time sheet in a sheet from the diary, tear it off and keep it in the 'out' section of his desk. A lady used to come and collect the sheets every evening and manually used to keep a tab of timesheets. Simple process. But as technology started growing & becoming complex, processes also started becoming complex. It's ironical if you ask me, coz the very reason for having a process is to make life simpler for the person.

Why people? Coz They simply don't follow it.

Leadeship - To implement processes you need strong leadeship. otherwsie people below you won't follow it. he gave the Indian Army example. Why no one questions an officer who gives some order to the solider - coz they have to follow the order. So strong leadership is needed to implement the process. I slightly disagree on thsi point coz its the same disgrunted solider who later picks up his gun and either shoots himself or shoots his commanding officer!

I also feel that processes can be implemented if their is an inclination on the part of the person to follow it. There should be a self belief and a conviction. The employee should himself believe in that process for it to be implemented or be successful. If the conviction is not there - nothing can work.

Greg Chapell can vouch for that!

How about barring mini skirts, noodle tops too?

Smoking poses serious health risks. So does driving in New Delhi. And combining the two is deadly, according to two New Delhi judges who have barred smoking at the wheel, apparently the first such ban in the world.

Declaring “New Delhi roads dangerous to human life,” the city’s High Court this week imposed a slew of new measures aimed at deterring habitually bad drivers, including the smoking ban and a prohibition on using a mobile phone while at the wheel.

“Anything that distracts the attention of driver is dangerous. The human mind cannot do two things simultaneously,” said New Delhi’s traffic commissioner Qamar Ahmed, welcoming the ruling, which goes into effect 9 April and only covers New Delhi, a city of 14 million people.

Source: The Mint

Indian Cricketers Seek Irish Citizenship in Desperate Bid to Play Super 8s.

A good piece...picked up from Son of Bosey. Read on....


In a cunning and daring move, several members of the Indian cricket team have hastily applied for Irish citizenship in the hope that they will be able to represent Ireland in the latter stages of the Cricket World Cup, from which India was eliminated in the first round.

Anil Kumble, all decked up in green, appeals to the Irish Government to grant him citizenship.
“I think it's a great idea. This way, we can finally achieve our dream of getting tonked by all the top cricketing nations in the Super 8 stage, where we truly belong.”, said Irishman-to-be Sachin Tendulkar, grinning evilly at press persons gathered to hear the announcement.
Apparently, the applications of the Indian players are being fast-tracked to enable them to qualify for the team before the Super 8 matches begin. “Thanks to our newly introduced Tatkal scheme, we can process the applications and have the necessary papers ready by lunchtime”, said Pavan Kachibatla, chief executive of the Board for Creating Citizenship for Indians (BCCI), and strangely, also of cricketology.com.
A spokesman for the Irish Government said, in between gulps of beer, that his Government was delighted to offer citizenship to the Indian players, and did not consider it unfair to the present Irish cricketers. “Look, mate, we're going to get our butts kicked by the big boys of cricket anyway. So how does it matter if there are some Indian players in this sorry, losing side? Doesn't change a thing for either team.”, he said, quite reasonably.
Sources have revealed that several of the Indian players are also changing their names for the occasion, resulting in names such as O'Ganguly, O'Tendulkar, and O'Dhoni. “This shouldn't be a problem. They've been regularly adding Os against their names for years”, quipped Wildlife Photographer S.U.Saravanakumar, adding a touch of his trademark tongue-in-cheek humour before leaving for Bristol once again.
“Brilliant! Whoever said that the Indians lacked strategic and tactical thinking?”, said Sunil Gavaskar, before adding “Australia sucks! England sucks! Oops – sorry!”
“Well, at least now we can say that we beat Pakistan again at the World Cup. Heh, Heh.”, pointed out coach Greg Chappell, clutching at straws as usual.
“We're focussing on the processes. Once the processes are taken care of, the results will take care of themselves.”, said Indian captain Rahul Dravid, pointing frenziedly at some Power Point slides. When questioned on why this thinking had failed to deliver results, he retorted “What do you mean? Of course we've produced results. They may be bad results, but they're results all the same.”
“Yay! I'm so happy, I feel like showing my . . . “, squealed a delighted Mandira Bedi, before abruptly deciding that perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to imitate Dilip Vengsarkar after all. She also reiterated that she was happy that there would be more matches featuring her favourite players, so she could continue to do what she does best - wear bizarre clothes, annoy viewers and cut off Charu Sharma in mid-sentence - for a few more weeks.
Harbhajan Singh was not available for comment, as he had rushed off in the direction of the Sheraton Towers the moment he learned that he was to report in Dublin.

The 'Axe' Effect...

Sachin out of Sunfeast ad

We have had meetings whether to continue with the Sachin ad. We may now promote our product through the Shah Rukh Khan ad, as he also endorses the brand. The decision will be taken today- Manager, Sunfeast

Team gets the boot from Reebok

We had a campaign with cricketers like Yuvraj Singh, Harbhajan Singh and others. But now, we will drop them and launch a new campaign with basketball and soccer stars in a couple of days - Sajid Shamim from Reebok India

After Friday’s defeat against Sri Lanka, Team India not only lost its popularity among the masses but also suffered a blow in the ad world. Corporates, who had based their ad campaigns on cricket and cricketers, are now on back foot.Sunfeast biscuits’ ad featuring Sachin Tendulkar could soon be off air. The company will instead use the alternative ad featuring Shah Rukh Khan. Pepsi has now pulled out its commercial ‘Ladega to Jeetega’, which featured Virender Sehwag, Rahul Dravid, Sachin Tendulkar, Yuvraj Singh and Mahendra Singh Dhoni. Instead, the company has started running an ad shot, yet again, with Shah Rukh Khan, said Pepsi’s publicist.

Sourav Ganguly, who had made a singular comeback, is the brand ambassador for Puma Sports. The company, which was planning a huge campaign with Ganguly has now shelved the plan. “We had done a photo shoot with Ganguly with our products before the World Cup. We were going to follow it up with a huge campaign, but now we have decided to cut costs on the campaign and restrict it to a short one,” said Rajiv Mehta, managing director, Puma Sports. According to advertising agencies, the change of plans follows negative sentiments among Indians about cricketers. Said ad maker Prahlad Kakar, “Sony Entertainment Television and other companies will incur losses to the tune of Rs 150 crore because of the fall in the rate of advertisements as viewership will fall.” The matches were screened on Set Max and Sony Pix.

However, Kunal Das Gupta, CEO of Sony Entertainment Television isn’t worried, “The companies cannot remove any advertisements, as they have already entered into a contract with Sony. They can, however, change their ads.” Rahul Dravid is the brand ambassador of Hutch. According to Genesis, the PR agency for Hutch, the company will not face any problems as their ‘Chalo World Cup’ contest with Dravid was a pre-World Cup one. “Since it ended before the Cup started, we aren’t worried,” said a source.

Source: Mid Day

Nothing would change...

A few heads would be chopped...
The coach would be replaced....
The debate would go on till it loses steam...
In between, we will play against some minnows, win some matches and everyone would get hooked on to matches again.....
A few wins against any of the top teams (be it in the dust bowls of India), and everything would be forgotten & forgiven....
The cricketers would be again elevated on high pedestals, shrines would be made again, companies would flock again for endorsements...

...and life would go on.

Change is needed but not of heads but of attitude.

SALE!! SALE!! SALE!!

Something that I would expect soon outside all shops promoting Indian cricket merchandise.

The best ad of world cup

If you ask me, the best ad of world cup is of Tata Sky. Why?

Coz while evry other ad promoted its product thru cricket stars, mind n body..heart n soul kinda stuff, Tata Sky ad. promoted what many corporate customers are doing now - cancelling their bookings to West Indies. Like Hritik says " Where are you going Pappe? Cricket dekhney ka mazza wahan nahi (West Indies)..yahan hai". I agree dude.

I don't know if tata Sky would increase their "world cup" specific sales, but out of the entire lot, I guess their's is the only product that can get played again & again on TV without making you shut off the TV :D

Reader's contribution (on world cup)

Got this piece in today's mail from a friend of mine. Posting it on the blog. She added random Musings in front of it, so I am assuming she wanted me to post it on my blog ;-)
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The World Cup & I

For some reason, my love for cricket emerges only at the time of the World Cup.

Been really busy with work since January but every time I saw a Sony Max hoarding reminding me that World Cup was gonna begin in mid-March, my spirits would soar. Besides, my client Pidilite was planning a huge spurt of advertising during India's matches, so I had to keep up anyway.

A couple of weeks or so before the World Cup started, Anil and I were lazing around at my-in-laws place one Sunday afternoon (that's what Sunday afternoons are for, isn't it?). Anil's brother and he were having some conversation about cricket, and Bhaiya asked, "When's India's first match?" Without looking up from the book I was reading, I offered, "17th march, against Bangladesh."

The room went silent suddenly. I looked up to find Anil, his mom and his brother all looking at me, jaws dropped. "How do YOU know a thing like that???" Anil asked when he found his voice at last.

"Well I'm looking forward to it. I like World Cup Cricket." I said quite matter of factly, wondering if my family was going nuts.

"You DOOOO?" asked Bhaiya. "Holy shit. Even I didn't know that."

"Well my first Fevicol ad is also going to play during the first match, so I have to know, cos I gotta deliver the tapes to the channel by the 10th."

"Ohhhhhhhhh okay. No wonder you know then." said Bhaiya, almost with a sigh of relief. Anil and his mom also smiled and gave me a look like 'Ah! That explains it' and went back to doing what they were doing. I was puzzled. C'mon! It can't be that hard to believe I like cricket.

So anyway, on the evening of 17th March, a bunch of us friends got together at one friend's place to watch the match. India lost that one finally, as you know. I joked that on the following Monday, the Bermuda eleven would be standing against the boys in blue 'seena taan ke' a la Bhuvan and his team from Lagaan, after India's miserable innings today.

Monday evening, India won against Bermuda by a margin of over 200 runs. Not surprisingly of course! You don't deserve to be playing World Cup cricket if you can beat a bunch of kacha nimboos, do you!

The big match was gonna be at the end of the week. India vs. Sri Lanka. Big not only cos it was two well-matched teams (or so we thought), but cos it was going to be the decider match for India. Win or go back home. As simple as that.

On Friday, there was a buzz in the office. No one wanted to work! And everyone was scheming as to how to go home early today. For the poor guys who had to work, the company actually hooked up the 2 televisions that had been promised to us this year. I was outta the office by 6pm, and home by the time India had won the toss and chosen to chase Sri Lanka's score.

Anil and I were watching this by ourselves at home, albeit with all the equipment one needs to watch a cricket match in style. Beer, popcorn and some awesome tandoori food from Kareem's down the road. Sri Lanka's innings was an entertaining one, ending at 254 runs. And India's innings promised to be an interesting and nail biting one.

The excitement was building in my head cos I was 100% SURE India was gonna win this one. Not cos we have a team that showed promise. Not cos of some mindless intuition. But simply cos of the mindnumbing numbers involved. 150 crores of advertising revenue hinged on India's ability to win today's match, and therefore remain in the World Cup. I dunno if anyone noticed, but Pepsi released a new ad with SRK and the blue wristband that day, which urged people to 'wear the band and show your support to India.' Knowing Pepsi's distribution network, they'd probably spent millions on just making sure the damn wristbands reached every kirana shop that sold Pepsi.

There was no way India could lose. And there was no way today's match wasn't rigged in India's favour.

Like someone who agreed with me said earlier that evening, 'Cricket these days is better scripted that blockbuster Hindi films. All you gotta learn is how to read the script.'

My interest was not in the end result, but in the way it would be executed.

But by the time India lost Sachin at 0, I was getting drowsy. Don't know when my eyes shut and when I woke up, India was already 7 wickets down, with Dhoni out for a duck too, and the score at just about 150 I think. I think I was too sleepy. I drifted off again, and found myself being woken up by Anil a little later. I got up with a start, "Shit the match...whats happening? How long have I been asleep?"

"They butchered us. We lost." Anil said sleepily.

LOST. India lost. We're out of the World Cup. WHAT?????

I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. All logic (and economics!) goes against it. All that advertiser revenue, all that hope, all that electric excitement in this mad cricket crazy nation. All gone.

But as another friend remarked, "Atleast now the Indian cricket team has gone back to its old ways. Oh well..."

Oh well....*sigh* another 4 years. My interest in cricket awakens only during the World Cup you know.
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Contributor: Sheetal Goel

The height of optimism at Reliance Communications

I get a call from Reliance's call center -

"Saaar...very gud morning to u". I Yum caaling from reliance communications. Aapka naam selected customers mein shaartlist hua hai and hum aapko ek aafer dena chatey hai"

Me: Offer? Hmmm... knowing reliance's mastery in these tricky offers, I wanted to cut him short there itself, but before I could speak, the guy went on with his sales speech, and what he said, made me play on with him further.

" Saar hamarey paas World Cup ke liye ek special live score plan hai jiska naam hai - SACHIN NAZARA Plan" (now at this moment, I just didn't know what to do - laugh my ass off on this poor guy who obviously must be sticking to his sales pitch coz he has a job to do or simply snap him off)

Me: Are you Ok dude? Are you really selling this plan to me? You said I am the lucky customer...kis baat mein lucky mere bhai? India world cup se bahaar ho gaya hai and you STILL selling this pack!!!! :D Or is it that you offering heavy discount on it :D

"Saar...ab India bahaar ho gaya to kya..haar jeet to chalti rehti hai...par doosri countries to hai na...unka score sunney ke liye you will need this pack... " (@ this point really felt sorry for this guy..but still managed to restrain myself from snapping)

Me: Ok..I will subscribe to your pack..but on 1 condition. "Kyaa saar"?

Me: I don't want to hear it in sachin's voice. I want to hear it in...hmmm...Adam Gilchrist's voice.

"saar...yeah Nazaara pack hai..(he tries to bring the pich pack to the script..while I deviate it again)

Me: nazaara to dekh liya...ab bataao... adam ki voice me de paoge? nahi..to good bye. And i shut the phone.

I wonder if reliance is seriously thinking that people would still go for pack like these...even now! :D

EYES TO REPLACE MOUSE! What next….?

Fed up of clicking on the computer mouse? Relief could soon be on its way thanks to the efforts of Stanford University researchers Manu Kumar, a doctoral student and Terry Winograd, a computer science professor. They have created an alternative to the mouse that allows computer users to click links, highlight text or simply scroll by just looking at the screen instead of tapping a key on the keyboard. The technology is called Gaze-enhanced User Interface Design, or GUIDe. Kumar, 31, is part professor Winograd’s team, who interestingly was one of the early advisors to the Google founders and actually worked at Google for a time. Besides letting people browse, GUIDe will help switch between applications. It will take pressure off hands and fingers. The technology works with standard eyetracking hardware.

The software requires that a person look at a document, for instance, and hold a hot key on the keyboard (usually found on the number pad on the right). The area of the screen that’s being looked at becomes magnified. Then, the person pinpoints his focus within the magnified region and releases the hot key, effectively clicking through to the link. As the eye is not very stable Kumar wrote an algorithm that allows the computer to smooth out the eye pupil jitters in real time. The rest of the research involved studying how people look at a screen and figuring out a way to build an interface that does not overload the visual channel. Hopefully GUIDe will soon hit the market and help do away with mouse clicks.

-Economic Times

Good Product Design Idea but Bad Usability

A real good example of a wonderful product design idea but I doubt it some thought had gone into product usability. The idea is really wonderful. Instead of stooping down each time and shuffling the CPU to insert the pendrive, build in the usb port in the keyboard itself. But as we see in scenarios like the one shown above, a slight nudge to the keyboard, and there is a great risk of the pendrive getting damaged. And it has actually happend with a team mate of mine. The keyboard concept with built in usb port works really well when the keyboard is kept on the table. I really can't say how many people would really remove keyboard from the tray and keep it on table whenever they want to use the pendrive port (as I saw from my team mate's case recently, not many would take that pain). But again, a really wonderful idea....wish I could really probe on how people find it to use in their day to day work and in all kind of scenarios (keyboard stand and without that).

Mindless Saturday

After couple of weeks got time to spend saturday at home. But with suvi at office I spend saturdays catching up with mindless movies or blogging like this. As I am writing this, I am catching up on rerun of my 5th movie of the day.

Gangajal
MIB 2
Jurassic Park 3
Ladder 49
Kindergarten Cop

Nostalgia time...

Each time I watch the promos of Delhi Heights, I go back in time. Flashback of all the good and bad time that I had. Can't say if I will ever go back to the city again but I can never get the city out of me. The college hangouts, the cool spots, momos at Chanakyapuri, parathas at hauz khas, shwarmas, pebble street...the time of my life with some of my closest friends at Netacross and a few college friends. My family might be settled in Nasik now but I would always be Delhiite - for ever.

My next big drive

After my 720 kms of up & down drive till ganpatipule, I am planning to hit the roads again. This time - driving down to Ahamedabad next weekend. It's roughly 650 kms from Pune. Going on saturday and coming back to pune on sunday night itself. Would cover around 1400 kms in span of 48 hrs.

Next time, who knows it would be a drive till Delhi! :-)

Speaking of delhi, I am planning to visit delhi in march 2nd week. Would be a very tight schedule as I have to shift most of my household stuff to Pune (beds/sofas/study table, etc.)

So looking fwd to be in Delhi again :-)

What happens when...

...you are about to stand up for making a big presentation...some big bosses are watching you...firangs are sitting in front of you....and as you get up....your mind goes blank. kaput.

It happened with me last weekend. Right after GPW, the next day we had to make few presentations. I had it all prepared. I had made similar kind of presentations earlier too. Yet, I prepared a lot for it and when i stood up to talk....swooooosh....the mind went blank. Shit man, it was the most wierdest moment of my life. Didn't know what i was uttering out. Felt like I was all sloshed and repeating myself. Just wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in. Somehow managed to finish it off but was so upset that day that even lost my appetite (in the bargain...missed out on a amazing buffet that was laid out that day). Ended the day with a few Johnie Walker on the rocks with Suvi. Had a soul session with Zia and few friends who all said it happens to everyone - nothing new - so chill and move on.

Btw, got chance to make ammends in another big presentation we had 2-3 days back. This time, thankfully, I was in control of things and delivered it the way i wanted it. The proof - the consulting head was also part of the show and even he appreciated it. Came to know yesterday that even the customer appreciated our HCI presentation (before visiting us they had visited TCS & Wipro and were not happy with HCI presentations made by them). So the week had been rather good.

GPW Snaps

A few snaps from the Global Partnership Weekend that we had few days back.

Where was I holed up?

I got queries from few of my blog readers inquiring of my sudden disappearance. The past one month had been crazily busy. Besides presales kinda work, we had this Global Partnership Week (GPW) event lined up. Clients from all cross globe fly down to Zensar campus for a week or so and we have a business carnival here. They are given full Indian royal treatment - golf sessions, city trip, weekend trip to Jaipur, 5 star stay and the works. One evening all the SBUs (strategic business units) had pavalions lined up in campus. The customers visit these pavalions. Our Consulting Practice also had a pavalion and I was involved in creating theme based content for all our consulting services. Reminded me of my advertising days. There were a few client presentations also lined up in last 1 week. More about it in next post.

Back...

Blogging nearly after a month. Work has picked up pace and had been so very busy that didn't get time to blog. Had so much to write...so many thoughts...so many topics that germinated in mind but could never bloom. The work is still hectic but hopefully should manage to squeeze time to blog in between.