Amir Khan rips the media...

...and how.

Methodology or Mythology?

... exclaims a frustrated Sr. Consultant sitting in a nearby cubicle when being asked by his boss to 'create' methodologies & 'conjure' up case studies based on it for areas in which we don't even have any experience or expertise!

Deepti Naval says...

..in her suitcase she only carries Jeans, sneakers, walking shoes and her camera.
How I wish even I could so.

Indian Idle...;-))))

Saw a Bus Hoarding for one of those Institiutes that gives part time vocational courses. The visual had a picture of a boy standing and the headline said:

You could be the next Indian Idle....

(next to it was logo of Indian Idol..only thing was instead of Idol..it was Idle)


..then the bodycopy said..come join our institute that imparts career oriented courses..blah blah blah.....

Toungue in cheek..eh? a.ka. Ranjan estyle ;-)

Being Lokesh....

...is not that simple. So would focus on Cyrus now.


All you multiplex 'educated' audience who sneered on the crass of bollywood fare - a reason to rejoice. Being Cyrus stimulates your mind and will definitely appeal to all movie lovers who appreciates movies meant for 'intellectual' minds. Which in simplistic terms means - sabko pasand nahi aayegi baap..thodey hat ke type junta ke liye hai yeah movie.

Ok..so what I meant was since I am 'hat ke', I loved the movie though Suvi didn't quite loved it - but found it ok ok types. Being Cyrus is definitely different. Mind you, it's not an entertainer, as you must have found out by now. It's a simple story narrated in a very pleasing and refreshing way. It is peppered with humour but not the like the antics of Paresh Rawal but more of tragical humor or in better words - black humor. At the same time, it's a very thought provoking film also. What makes the movie stands out is the casting coup - Saif Ali Khan as Cyrus stands out. He is tailor made for the role of Cyrus - a young 20 something lad who plays the role of protoganist in the film. Nassarudin, Dimple Boman Irani & Simone Singh are the other main characters who play their part to the hilt as Parsi characters.

The movie is short & sweet (90 mins) and is def. worth watching but again for only those who don't mind watching black humor kinda movie once in a while.

Your time starts now!

------------------------------------
Our Friend was chatting with a female - Online chat. Background both work for real big MNC's
Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today?
Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat
Hero: wow...am honored, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat
Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee.
Hero: OK
Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)
Manager: Hey, I need some help from you
Hero: [**** This &^$#! manager always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me
Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, Given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?
Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if I Give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)
Female: Hey, am back
Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, She's kinda..... keeps asking stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work
Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!
Hero: Yep, u rite!!
Female: Hey, can u do me a favor
Hero: *smiles* sure, why not.
Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number, given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's real Urgent for me to work
Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now. ok?
Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU
KNOW WHO I AM!! AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!

---------------------------

Reminds me of my ol days..a similar prank that I played on my buddy in NetAcross. Will share it with you guys sometime soon;-)

cheap thrills of different kind ;-)

Zipping down the Godbundar road with Suvi, I hear this repeated honking from santro which pulls from behind and moves parallel to meon my left. The driver of the car rolls down his window and shouts at me "how much average this model is giving? " I shout back "17 in city". He shouts "without AC??" I shout back" NO. WITH AC". He shouts back" ..n on highway?"... I shout back "23-24". All this convo takes place with our cars moving parallely at approx speed of 60 and with suvi flinching her teeth..fearing that my constant turning left and talking to him might lead to some accident ;-)... He moves on... I look at suvi and we both grin. She knew I was getting cheap thrills out of it. ;-)

Another related kissa which took place last week or so. Had picked up a friend of mine who had come from delhi from her relatives place. As we were driving towards my home in thane, she got a call from her hubby. While talking to him she said "u know loks has bought a beautiful red car...its santro...." I interrupted "oye! santro nahi hai..its Indica TURBO"....she looked at me in surprise and said "indica hai yeah!!" and then she continued in phone "..nahi..its an indica..that turbo wala model...and u know what... there is no NOISE at all... ya...hardly koi SOUND....told u we should have evaluated this model too...." I just looked the other side and smiled to myself and patted the sterring wheel gently. The best compliment I've received for my car so far. :)

Guidelines on sting operations!!!

This one is really hillarious.
Stung by a recent TV ops in which a channel seceretly filmed an MP trying to offer bribe to someone, the Parliament is now seriously considering bringing guidelines for sting operations. So imagine the guideline would say:

- Sting ops need to be informed in advance to public broadcasting ministry
-Ops need to be shot in daylight. Dark lights won't be permited
- The size of pocket camera cannot exceed 4 mm.
-Audio needs to be verrry clear.

and so on........

Lata not singing on right notes...

The topic of discussion these days in Mumbai print media is the Peddar Road flyover. This flyover has been in discussion for the past 5-6years. The resident association of Peddar Road, spearheaded by Lata Mangeshkar has always opposed building the flyover in that area mainly giving excuses that it would invade their privacy or lead to more pollution. Lata Mangeshkar had gone a step above saying having a flyover there would block her view, lead to pollution and inturrupt with her 'riyaas'... and that how she had lived for over 35 years in that area and suddenly seeing flyover near her house would be an eyesore to the beauty of that area. On a past few occassions, the work on the flyover had stopped stanks to the emotional blackmail of Lata mangeshkar. But this time around, with the Bandra-Worli Sealink work picking up momemntum, the need for a flyover that connects from Haji Ali passes over Peddar road and ends at Nariman Point has again come under scanner. Most of the town planners feel that the flyover is neccessary as it would lead to less chaos & traffic near the Haji Ali/Peddar Road area. If the flyover is not there, all the traffic that would now come from the new sealink would get accumulated near haji Ali/Peddar Road thus increasing the existing traffic load. Everyone has given go-ahead on the flyover this time, except Lata Mangeshkar. Her latest tantrum this time is that if the flyover comes, she will leave Mumbai for ever and will go and settle in Pune/Kohlapur. Pleassse... Most of the Mumbaikars are really surprised at her childish attitude and are questioning will the govt. this time also stop the work on the flyover just to please a VIP like Lata Mangeshkar? Many people who live around Peddar road also feel that it's neccessary to have a flyover. Some of them have on record said that most of the time, lata is either in London or Pune and spends only few months in Mumbai. Besides that she lives in an air-conditioned cocoon at her peddar Road house - so why is she making so much fuss about noise pollution etc. By acting this way, Lataji has just reduced her respect in front of people and nothing else.

Loku - dog's best friend

This piece is something that Suvi would have loved to tell on her own, but nevertheless..here it goes.

I have never been a dog lover.. but at the same time not a dog hater too. Have always been somewhere in between.....more of a dog 'liker'. I mean I do like them but I am not one of those who are so passionate about them that would love to keep them as pets. In our society there are many street dogs - around 3 or 4 per building. They are those harmless ones so I guess everyone in the society is cool about them. B4 marriage I had not been so considerate about these street dogs - I mean ok..you live here I live on 6th floor - you don't bother me - I don't bother you and I don't care a damn if anyone of the doggy dies or decides to leave the building. After marriage, I have noticed a visible change in my 'behavior' for these dogs - a fact which Suvi likes to take credit for ;-)

Now Suvi has always been vocal with her affection for dogs, cats, etc. She herself had paloed cats, dogs & rabbits in Indore. Out here also, any left over food goes to the building dogs when we go out for our night walks. Staying and interacting with the dogs while she feeds, I guess some of her compassi0n has got into me to. The same dogs now don't get the 'gali ka kutta' kinda vibes from me. Infact there are these 1-2 dogs who always come up to us with tails wagging when we go out for our night walks or when they see my car entering the parking lot. Whenever I get down from my car or in morning when i am going to office, there is this dog who always comes to me and jumps all over me. A little pat on his head, a light hearted scolding for spoiling your spotless dress, and he happily wags his tail and accompanies you to your car. Last week I bought couple of Parle G small biscut packs which I keep in my car dashboard to feed them whenever they come upto me. Suvi relishes with delight while telling this biscuit wala kissa to everyone. According to her - it's her 'influence' that made change in my heart and go for stocking the biscuits in the car. :P Blaaahhh...:P

My liking (or love?) for dogs came to another testing point ysdy night. A few of the dogs have given birth to some puppies in the compound behind my building. For us, they are a visual delight - as they play along. Now ysday night as I was about to have my bath, I heard whining sounds from a few puppies. The sound turned into long wails - shrill & continious ones. Me being on 6th floor, and I still could hear it means somehting was really wrong. Fearing that some cat or some rival dog must be making dinner of these puppies, I rushed out of the bathroom, told suvi m not liking the sound, took a left over roti and went downstairs to investigate. A few of the puppies were playing away to glory but the sound of wailing was coming from under some derbis lying nearby. The mother of the pups was also barking nearby. After seeing me, first she gave a low growl but I patoed her by offering half of the roti. With her guard down, I approached the debris to check out why the pups were howling. Found out that 2 of her pups were stuck were badly in an old net. Infact the rope of the net had choked one of the pup's neck and as he kept jumping to free himself, it was choking him further. I started removing the debris. The puppies were giving me hard time as they were obviously scared but managed to free them. As soon as they were free, they ran across the compund with their bros n sis, as I stood aside and watched them play, with a smile. Fed the remaing roti to the puppies and went upstairs.

Took these pics today morning. I guess 2 of these fellas are there coz of me.



 

Raj Thakrey disappoints

I am kinda disappointed with Raj Thakrey. Though I gotta nothing to care or do for his new party or stuff yet, he disappoints me. Why? Just a brief flashback. If you would remember, after Bal Thakrey, Raj was always the shadow figure of Thakrey Sr. He was the fireband leader. He was the inspirational person for all Shiv Sena foot soldiers who believed that more than Udhav, it's Raj who has the will within to succeed Bal Thakrey and carry forward Sena's ' maharashtra for marathi manoos' dominated extremist ideology. Remember his attack on those Biharis & bhaiyyas at Kalyan railway station when they had come to appear for railway clerical exam. Lately he had been critical with Siv Sena's moderate 'Me Mumbaikar' theory. When he broke off from Shiv sena, many thought it's the begining of the end for Shiv Sena coz inside Sena, everyone sympathised with Raj coz they belived he was the only capable person to give justice to Sena ideology and revive the party.

But now Sena top heads are breathing easily and the Sena commoners are disappointed with Raj. reason being, the new party that Raj has floated offers nothing remotely with Sena ideology. Rather, the party has a very pro liberal & moderate outlook - something with which the common Sena workers can't identify with. Why, even the new flag of Raj's party has three stripes, one being green, which kind of indicates of the olive leave that Raj is offering to the Muslims. Once an extremist leader today after formation of his party has now turned into a 'politician' - another brick in the wall. As of today, I don't see him any different from other political parties like Congress, BJP, SP etc. The Shiv sena knows this and no wonder they are smiling.

'Inspirational', this stuff...

The king of 'inspirations' is back again. Yes, the latest Anu Malik number on air these days is some song from Akshay Kumar film...dunno the lyrics..its called Rock Star or something. Check out its opening 'dhun' which gets played inbetween the song also. A straight lift off from Jenifer Lopez's last hit single.

At times I feel Anu Malik also works in the airlines catering industry fashion. A Taj Air Caterer would be providing food to Jet & Kingfisher too but the food offered on Jet is much tastier than Kingfisher - inspite of coming from same kitchen. Why so? Coz Jet doles out more moolah for food quality than Kingfisher- hence the difference. Similary I guess Anu Malik also works in the same fashion. For big banners, big producers/directors who must be giving him big moolah - he produces gems and for those other ones, he churns out these 'inspirational' stuff.

Someone at Naukri.com to search for job soon!

This is interesting. Picked it up from Mid-Day site:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
11-yr-old boy sends notice to naukri.com
By: PTI
March 18, 2006
Chandigarh: An 11-year-old boy has sent a legal notice to a job website naukri.com claiming damages of Rs 1 crore for using part of his name 'Hari' allegedly in a derogatory manner. Hari Bhanot, in his notice, charged that an advertisement of the site had resulted in mental harassment and agony as many of his friends and acquaintances have made him a butt of jokes after watching it on TV. The advertisement in question has a person telling on phone the full form of the name Hari as "H for Hitler, A for Arrogant, R for Rascal and I for Idiot," it said.

The legal notice, sent by Aneesh Bhanot on behalf of his son Hari, says, "The advertisement is totally insensitive to the name Hari. "The telecast of the advertisement has undermined the status, reputation, respect and self-confidence of my client and has severely affected his standing in the school, residential locality and social circle. After the advertisement came on air, many people known to my client have told him that they have a lower opinion of him," he claimed.

The notice wants withdrawal of the advertisement forthwith and a public apology from the website in the same manner and coverage as the advertisement has been given and pay Rs 1 crore as damages and said failing this criminal and civil proceedings would be filed against naukri.com
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Btw, I have met this chap - Aneesh Bhanot. He also comes from advertising background and had been doing quite well (his last posting was as a president of one of India's leading financial advtg. agencies in Mumbai) b4 he decided to call quits from active advertising and settle down. He runs his own consultancy firm these days. He happens to be a good friend of Ranjan - president of Crayons Advertising - the place where I started my career. Once had a chance of having dinner with Aneesh when I was in Chandigarh for some client presentation with Ranjan. Quite an interesting fellow, he is.

Computers in cars

This is something I have never really understood. In most of the technical specs of cars you will see a feature which says "Onboard Computers". The numbers vary. I remember years back Santro used to offer 3..dunno how many they offer now. The Swift ad. these days scream: "6-onboard computers". Period. What do these "onboard computers" do and where on board are they situated? But more importantly, is the term correct? Are they really "computers" or should the term be "computerized chip"? The term computer gives a different connotation. I visualize these desktops/laptops. Just imagine. Besides that, when you say that, different things run through your mind. What if it rains heavily and water seeps into these so called "onboard computers". Will these computers crash? Somehow these terms put me off. I don't want computers to drive my car. It's me who will be the master of my machine and not some goddamn computer.

Btw, do you know how to keep the Santros, Swifts and other "onboard computer' wali cars bug free? Simple...just attach your internet connection to any one of the "onboard computer" of the car and download the latest virus definition :-) Yeah it's a PJ...but m luvin' it!

Page 3..here I come!

Ok guys...very soon you will see me on Page 3. Received my 1st exclusive invite for one of those shows organized by Johnie Walker where they will host an audio visual presentation on their pedigree, difference between different grains & malts that goes into making a Johnie Walker followed by a tasting session. The event is on friday at Taj and I believe only 60 ppl have been invited. Keep Walking...err I mean keep reading for more details next week. :-)

BMC goes on a mapping drive...

Now this is interesting.

BMC (Bombay Municipal Corporation) plans to go the Yahoo Maps & Google Earth way and create digitized maps of entire Mumbai city. Which means you can locate & visually see each and every colony, road, nala, galli in Mumbai on the net. While Google & Yahoo rely on sattellite images, BMC will take aerial images and offer a much closer zoom option than Google & Yahoo, which means better visual clarity. You can even see what baju wali ladki was doing on terrace the day picture was updated.

Now the plan is good but with due respect to BMC, there are better & bigger challenges in front of them that they should focus on. On one of the radio shows one of the listner commented "BMC ko bolo maps banna bandh karey..pehley roads to bana le". That says it all. While the basic infrastructure needs a much needed make over, the BMC should concentrate their energies on that. Imagine, if they do succeed with this plan, how our roads would look from ariel view. After every 10 meters, you would get to see a black spot on road. Further zooming and you would eventually see some kinda pothole. Zoom down further...hey that's no pothole - that's a crater ;-)

Temperature soars high in Leh!

Wanted to catch NDTV's Jai Jawan show on Sunday but couldn't do so. Reason being, this week's celebrity guest to visit the armed forces in Leh was Mallika Sherawat!! Really wanted to see how she interacted with the jawaans and more importantly her attire. :-) My visual guess would be Mallika dressed in skin colored Lux Cotswool with a big customized hole made in the cotswool near bellybutton & back - for cross ventilation ;-)

A day out with babies....

Reached Zia's place at around 7pm. This was the 1st time I was visiting his new apartment. The society is quite nice. Zaha, Zia's daughter has become quite a playful brat now. But on few occassions like captured below, she couldn't help but just stare at me, as if I had landed from Mars, while I took her snaps.


 

A day out with babies...

Just when you think..ah! weekend is here...it turns out to be the most busiest part of the entire week and b4 you know it, it's Monday again.

Saturday turned out to be the most hectic day of the week. After completing morning houehold chores, me and suvi decided to visit our friend Kavita's place. About a month back she had delivered a baby boy. Since coming back from Udhampur, we hadn't had a chance to visit her. She lives in Andheri. On any weekday, reaching her place would have been a maddning affair thanks mostly to the dug up roads and traffic. Thankfully, on sat. the traffic was kinda less and we managed to reach in nearly 1.5 hrs. Normally it would have taken over 2 hrs to reach from Thane. Spent over an hour with her, as suvi played with the baby, I relished the delicious dhoklas that Kavita's mom-in-law prepared for us. Later in the evening, we left for Zia's place to meet him. He happend to be in town and since it had been quite some time since Suvi had met with Naaz and Zaha, we went over to his place.



Kavita's son...


 

What if we 'hollywoodize' Indian film promos?

Have you ever seen the grandeur created around hollywood film promos? You must've seen it but never given much thought to it. Something like the movie starts with good slick, racy, cuts and previews until the voice over comes that brings the promos to the climax:

"From Academy Award winner Michael Mann comes this year's most awaited thriller... starring 3time Golden Globe Winner Jammie Fox, 2 times Academy Award winner & 4 times Golden Globe nominated..Tom Cruise..... (and so on..) Have u noticed how the background score goes to a cresendo as the names get rattled alongwith the "academy award" stuff...A nallah sa movie also becomes 'A' grade once names get highlighted with the award stuff lines. Imagine if we 'hollywoodize' Indian promos on the same lines...lately the Indian promos are catching up with the sleek and racy packaging, but what's missing is this:

(background score: thann-thannnthannnndh) " From 3 Filmfare & Zee Cine awards winner director Karan Johar comes this year's most awaited film..Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna...starring 10 Filmfare, 15 Zee Cine Awards, 9 Sony screen award, 55 I Me Myself Award winner Sharukh Khan, 4 Filmfare award winner & Zee Award nominated Preity Zinta, Filmfare Life time Achievement winner Amitabh Bachhan....

What say u guys?

Was Munaf indeed Nagesh's inspiration?

Was reading an article in today's TOI on Munaf Patel. Couldn't help notice that like Iqbal, Munaf's father was also against the idea of his son playing cricket and that in the initial period, Munaf was focussing just on speed and it was Chandrakant Pandit and the guy at MRF pace acadamey that 'taught' him to bowl intelligently rather than concentrating purely on bowling fast.

Ek jaam aur

enjoying beer on holi day.... 

Rang barse....

Ahh.. it would be just another perfect holi day. We sleeping till 10 or 11 and getting up aaraam se. No color-shalar for me. Kinda stopped playing holi for quite some years now. This time just made plans with my cousin Anangha and her family. invited them over for chicken lunch at our place. A little booze & chicken on a lazy afternoon...ah! what else can you ask for. 10 am. Suvi and me get down to cleaning the house. 10 am..anangha and deepak arrive with loads of color. I run inside but kab tak chipuh? Both me and suvi within minutes look like some booozos from Mars. We play holi outside our house....wake up the samney wali aunty too and suvi applies color on her too. The spotless white tiles outside our house looks like they have seen bloodshed. We then go downstairs and hang around for a while. Now all cleaned up and a beer down, Suvi and anagha are in kitchen preparing the lunch. Ummmm..the smell of chicken is lovely. After all this bird flu shit shat...it feel after ages I am having chicken.




Suvi with Nehru aunty, our neighbour

 

Shooting from the errr.... hips

We all know Shakira baby for her goregeous figure. All these gossip sites rave a lot about her fab hips...just next to Jen Lopez. Seems like Shakira baby herself give a lot of thought to it. Have you checked out her latest single? It's named "My Hips Don't Lie"

Saw the video other night. Can't get over the lyrics.

And I'm on tonight

You know my hips don't lie

And I'm starting to feel it's right

All the attraction, the tension

Don't you see baby, this is perfection

Yeah Shaks baby...your hips really don't lie...they are awesome :-)

Malamaal Timepass

Saw Malamaal Weekly this Friday. Priydarshan has continued where he left off last time. It's a laughter riot mixed with a dash of mellow drama and social message. Park your minds and come and watch the movie. Paresh Rawal is at his best - this time he plays the role of a rustic gao-wallah resembling more like Lalu Prasad Yadav. Om Puri gives him equal support and together they create a laughter riot. Won't get much into story line but would suggest everyone to do watch it. Nice time pass.

In the Iqbal mould: Munaf Patel

Finally I caught up with a movie that I had missed when I was in London. It's Iqbal. Set Max was screening Iqbal on Sunday and I left no stones unturned to ensure that I don't miss the movie this time. Which means getting up on time on a sunday, doing all chores b4 suvi could yell about it and parying 100 times that hope the light doesn't go off! Really loved the movie. Nagesh has a flair of making things simple. The simplicity of the movie really bowls you out. Since you must have all watched the movie, I won't dwell much into it but want to draw parellel with another Iqbal in making - the young lad from Bharuch: Munaf Patel.

The speedster has caught the right attention across cricketing fraternity. The guy has raw pace, can reverse swing too and have been bowling consistently at 140kmph. But more than that it's the background from where he rose catches your attention. Munaf comes from a small village near Bharuch. His father is a farmer. A devoit muslim, Munaf used to bowl in local village tournements and caught someone's attention. He was referred to Kiran More's Cricket Academy in Baroda. When he joined there, he didn't even have a decent pair of sports shoes, forget cricket shoes. At the academy Kiran suggested him to move to MRF pace academy and later Sachin tendulkar spotted him and brought him to Mumbai where he initially joined Mumbai Ranji team and later Maharashtra team. After his recent performance, there are atleast 3 sports management firm that are wrestling to sign Munaf under their banner. Quite like Iqbal, isn't it?

 

 

cruising in the fast lane....

 

It 'nt easy walkin' on here!

Walking in deep snow is tiring, especially when you are trying to walk uphill. At times the shoes used to hit soft snow and make you lose your balance. 

...and then it snowed

 

 

at our resort...